Shavuos
IN
PURSUIT OF PERFECTION
This essay was adapted from Likutey Even, Haskamat
HaBoker, pp. 9-11, by Reb Ephraim ben Naftali (1800-1882), which he
published anonymously during the last year of his life. Likutey Even was republished in the
author's name in Jerusalem by Reb Gedaliah Aharon Kenig in 1963. Reb Ephraim's
father, Reb Naftali, was one of Rebbe Nachman's closest followers and lifelong
friend of Reb Noson. Reb Ephraim was sent by his father to learn from Reb
Noson, and subsequently became one of his closest disciples. On the opening
page of his book, Reb Ephraim writes that through the teachings of Rebbe
Nachman, “God helped me to collect holy stones from pure yearnings and desires
for holiness to make an Even Sh'leima – a complete stone.”
Ratzo V'Shov: Running and Returning
From the first day of the Omer, we begin a steady process of
spiritual ascent that culminates on the fiftieth day with Shavuos, marking the
Giving of the Torah. Shavuos is the “Fiftieth Gate,” representing complete
union and nullification with God's Infinite Light – a level of intense longing,
called "Desire of Desires." However, the truth is that it is
impossible to attain this level completely in this life.
The Omer counting is marked by a dynamic called ratzo
v'shov – “running and returning.” Based upon the Merkava Vision of the
Prophet Ezekiel, this mystical concept pervades Kabbalistic thought, and Rebbe
Nachman’s teachings in particular.
Although we are “running” for forty-nine days towards Shavuos,
paradoxically, the light of the Fiftieth Gate can only be attained through the
idea of “return” – shov. This is because through “running” alone, one
would soon cease to exist - destroying the possibility of creating a vessel in which to
receive the highest light. Therefore, we refrain from counting the fiftieth
day, Shavuos, since we must restrain the soul's all-consuming desire for God.
Even Moses himself was unable to attain the level of the
Fiftieth Gate, since to do so, he would have had to nullify his being
completely and shed every vestige of corporeality. Thus, after Moses ascended
Mount Sinai, corresponding to the dynamic of “running,” he had to hold himself
back, and descend to the encampment of Israel below, corresponding to the
aspect of “return.”
Since God desires our service in this world, we, too, must
remain in the category of shov – “return,” despite the great desire to
break through and run forward as we near the Fiftieth Gate. Only in this manner
may we perceive God's Infinite Light - an experience for which Shavuos, of all the holidays, is
the unique paradigm - and
through the spiritual "vessels" formed by our mitzvot and good deeds,
we may come to know His unity. Then it is possible to realize that everything
that happens to us comes from G-d; therefore, everything is truly good. With
this knowledge comes our complete acceptance of God’s sovereignty over all
Creation.
First published in Tzaddik Magazine,
Tzefat, Israel
© 2001 Nachal Novea Mekor Chochma
Limited copies of the original Hebrew text, Likutey Even,
are available from Nachal Novea Mekor Chochma Institutions. Email:
nnmc@nnmc.org.il