Nachal novea; makor chochma -
A flowing river; the source of wisdom (Mish. 18:4)
Although the Torah sanctions divorce, as, at times, proper and even necessary, the Talmud describes the tragedy of divorce, "When a man divorces his first wife, even the Altar sheds tears, as the verse says, 'And this further do you do: [You] cause the Alter of Hashem to be covered with tears, with weeping and with sighing, so that He (Hashem) no longer turns to the offering or receives it with good will from your hand. And you ask why? Because Hashem has been witness between you and the wife of your youth against whom you have been treacherous, though she is your companion and the wife of your covenant."' (malachai 2:13-14) (Talmud: Gitten 90a) It seems strange. How can a mere piece of paper dissolve the strong bonds of marriage? Furthermore, what is it about divorce that affects a kohen (priest) such that he may not marry a divorcee, while others may? In the following paragraphs, based on the teaching's of his mentor, Rabbi Nachman, Rav Noson, explains, some of the aspects related to these issues.
For men, the spiritual energies of chochma predominate, for women, bina.
This is the main distinction between masculine and feminine intellect.
Mating, then, is a merging of the energies of chochma and bina, male and
female. Unlike the mating process of animals, where instinct and desire
play a major role, marriage is essentially a complex exercise in the
life-long development of the intellect, where the minds of the male and
female are merged as one. The couple then uses their pooled resources to
better serve and understand Hashem. This is why the Torah describes
intimate relations by the term day'ah, knowledge, as the verse says,
"And Adam knew Chava (Eve) his wife, and she conceived and bore Cain
(their offspring were an actualization of the complex process of the
merging of their minds]..." (Genesis 4:1)
The process that initiates marriage, when a man, with the woman's
consent, gives her something of value, [generally a gold ring] or a
written document that legally and spiritually binds them together as
husband and wife, is called kiddushin (fit. sanctification). Although
there are several different methods of initiating marriage, every union
requires that the man give his wife a document, called a ketuba, which
mandates provision for her financial welfare in case of divorce or the
husband's demise. From the juxtaposition of the subjects of divorce and
marriage in our verse, the sages derive that the two processes are
analogous in every way where it is possible to compare them. Therefore,
the first step of marriage, keddushin, although not explicitly mentioned
in the Torah, can be implemented through a document, just like the
explicitly mentioned document used in the process of divorce. The Torah
tells us that the marriage document and the document of divorce work
essentially the same way, except that one initiates the marriage process
and the other dissolves it.
Divorce is an act of separation, often resulting from bickering and
hatred. The effectiveness of the priest in gaining atonement for the
nation is dependent upon his ability to activate his priestly spiritual
energies, the energies associated with peace. Therefore, he must always
be spiritually connected to peace and love. The negative spiritual
energies created by the separation and bitterness of divorce attaches
itself to the woman's soul, imbedded there for the rest of her life.
When a couple weds, their soul's merge. Therefore, a priest is forbidden
to marry a divorcee, for the negative energies attached to her soul will
dilute his priestly powers, when their soul's merge. Then he would be
disabled in serving Hashem, unable to effect spiritual healing and
atonement for the nation. [Note: A male priest's soul is not effected by
his own divorce and in such a case, he would be able to continue serving
in the Temple. It seems unfair that a woman's soul should be damaged by
divorce for the duration of her lifetime, whereas a man's soul is not.
We offer the following brief explanation for this perplexity: Unlike a
man, in order for a woman to accomplish her vital role in the service of
Hashem, which is the rectification of the world, and the production of
holy offspring, Hashem gives her a soul that is capable of receiving
many kinds of spiritual energies, where they remain for incubation,
being perfected and rectified. Unfortunately there is a dubious aspect
to this as well. The She'law HaKodesh says that the spiritual energies
that a woman absorbs remain with her for the rest of her life, including
the negative spiritual energies of divorce. The masculine soul, although
receptive to spiritual energies, does not have the feminine soul's
potent ability to incubate, therefore a man does not retain the
spiritual energies of created by divorce. This brief explanation does
not fully answer why the law treats men and women differently regarding
divorce, and certainly may seem unsatisfactory. However, Hashem and His
law is always just and His ways are beyond human comprehension. Rabbi
Nachman taught that due to Hashem's unbounded intellect, His
understanding and perception are infinitely greater than the relatively
limited human's, there must inherently be many unresolved issues
relating to Hashem and His ways]. (Lekutai Halachoth: Even Ha'ezer:
Hilchoth Gitten 3:1-9)
The Talmud recounts the incident that triggered the Divine decree to
destroy the Temple: Rav Yehuda said in the name of Rav: What [incident]
is an illustration of that which is written, "They oppress a man and his
house, even a man and his inheritance." (Micha 2:2) There was an
incident in which one man, who was a carpenter's apprentice, coveted the
wife of his Master. His Master once needed to borrow [some money]. [The
apprentice] said to him, "Send. your wife to [my house (which was
located far from the Master's home)], and I will give her the loan."
[The Master] sent his wife to [the apprentice], and [the apprentice]
spent three days with her. [The Master] arose and went to [the
apprentice]. [The Master] asked him, "Where is my wife whom I sent to
you?" [The apprentice] said to him, "I let her go immediately, but I
heard that some youths abused her on the way." [The Master] asked him,
"What shall I do?"
[Note: The apprentice had implied that the master's wife had willingly
participated in extramarital relations. The Torah forbids a husband,
whose wife willingly committed adultery, to continue living with her. He
is then required to divorce her (MaHarsha)]. [The apprentice] answered
him, "if you take my advice, divorce her!" [The Master] said to him,
"[But] her kesuba (a prenuptial agreement that requires a husband to pay
a designated sum of money in the advent of death or divorce) [payment]
is great." [Note: Although an adulterous women forfeits her rights to
the kesuba payment, in this case the husband had no actual proof that
his wife had committed adultery. Thus he was not required by law to
divorce her and was then required to pay her kesuba]. [The apprentice]
said to him, "I will lend you [the money] and (then you will be able to]
give her the kesubah [payment that is] due her." [The Master] went ahead
[and divorced her]. [The apprentice then] went and married her. When the
time came (for the Master to repay the loan] and he did not have [the
money] to pay [the apprentice], [the apprentice] said to him, "Come and
work for me to pay off your debt." While they [the apprentice and his
wife] were sitting, eating, and drinking, [the Master] would stand and
serve them drink. Tears would fall from his eyes and drop into their
cups. Because of [this incident at] that moment, the decree of
[destruction of the Temple] was sealed [in heaven, because of the
apprentice's scandalous deception]. But some say [that the decree was
sealed] because of two wicks in one lamp, [i.e. According to this
opinion, the decree was sealed because of the adultery committed by the
apprentice and his master's wife during the three days they were alone
together. In such a case, the law forbids an adulterous couple to marry
even after the woman divorces. (MarHasha)]. [Note, According to either
version this was a well-publicized incident and yet no one protested the
apprentice's outrageous behavior. Therefore, all the people were held
liable. (MarHarsha)]. (Talmud: Gitten 58a)
Divorce should be avoided at all costs. But when every possible avenue
of reconciliation has been exhausted without success, the couple
divorces. Rav Noson explains that in many cases, divorce becomes
necessary when the couple is no longer able to live together in peace,
and in such instances, it is an indication that they are not soulmates.
This is why they have so much trouble getting along. Their fighting is a
manifestation of their souls' negative reaction to their union. Rav
Noson emphasizes that all matches are brought about by Hashem (G-d). The
reason for such seemingly bad matches that are predestined to end in
divorce is that the couple had to rectify something together. When the
rectification has been completed, Hashem induces friction between the
couple, which leads to divorce. (Lekutai Halachoth: Even Ha'Ezer:
Hilchoth Pir'ya V'Rivya V'Hilchoth Eishuth 5.24) The holy Ari teaches,
just as marriage is predetermined, so is divorce. (Shar HaGigulim)
To better understand our discussion, it is necessary to briefly explain
how the human intellect works: In order for the mind to effectively
function, it derives spiritual energies from the many areas in Heaven to
which it is spiritually connected. The thought process begins through
the mind's connection to the Heavenly chamber known as abba (father),
which contains the spiritual energies of chochma, (wisdom: pure unified
thought, the knowledge of and the ability to gather basic information).
The area in Heaven known as imma (mother) contains the spiritual
energies of bina (understanding: the ability to make logical
distinctions, to analyze existing information), and is where the basic
axioms of chochma are delineated and defined. When chochma and bina are
combined, they produce offspring called daat (knowledge, applied logic:.
the ability to bring together the basic information that is given
(chochma) and make it interact logically (bina)). Chochma and bina are a
completely internal process, whereas da'at involves externalization, and
includes the ability to effectively communicate one's thoughts to the
outside world.
MASCULINE AND FEMININE INTELLECTS
The spiritual energies contained in the minds of each man and woman are
connected to a specific area in heaven. The masculine spiritual energies
of chochma are associated with the spiritual energies of chessed
(kindness). The feminine spiritual energies of bina are associated with
the spiritual energies of gevura (strength, restraint, and severity).
The only way that din, severity, can be mitigated is through the
spiritual energies of chessed. So when a man and woman marry, his
connection to chessed tempers and sweetens her connection to gevurah and
together, they rectify the part of the cosmos to which they are
spiritually connected. Just as a chemist must mix the right combination
of chemicals to produce a desired result, so too does Hashem match a
specific man with a specific woman to produce the desired rectifications
of the spiritual areas with which they are associated. The wrong
combination would cause great spiritual damage to the universe. One
reason for the prohibition against adultery, therefore, is that the
souls of husband and wife are uniquely connected to a certain spiritual
area, and so, no other man is able to team up with that woman to
mitigate those areas of severity associated with her soul. In his
transgression, the paramour strengthens the forces of evil. His improper
actions give the forces of evil access to his masculine soul and enable
them t(j"be nourished through his energies of chessed, causing
tremendous spiritual damage.
INTELLECTS RECTIFY THE COSMOS
Rav Noson explains how the documents work on the spiritual level to
initiate or dissolve a marriage. On the physical level, a book or
document is a vehicle through which the thoughts and intellect of the
author are disseminated. The written word bridges the mind of the reader
with an outside source of intelligence, the author, who may be far
removed from the reader's physical location. The same is true on the
spiritual level. One who reads book or signs a document connects his
soul to a certain area in Heaven which are associated with the spiritual
energies of that book or document. Documents of marriage and divorce
transport the intellects of the couple to the upper worlds, to the area
associated with the universal source of all human intellect and
intelligence. In this spiritual area, there is no division, everything
is one. Only on earth is there separation. In other words, this lofty
spiritual area, the universal intellect, unifies, connects and binds all
human intelligence together as one. Once the minds of the couple are
spiritually transported, through either the document of marriage or
divorce, to this lofty area, they encounter the point at which they are
bound together. When a marriage is performed, the separate
consciousnesses of the bride and groom spiritually ascend to the area of
the universal intellect, where the spiritual energies contained in the
marriage document firmly cements both of their individual conscience's
as one. Their spiritual and intellectual binding endures, even after the
marriage ceremony, when their intellects return to earth, the place of
spiritual and intellectual separation. Therefore, the difference between
a married couple and all other people is that the minds of the married
couple are spiritually united, even on earth, whereas the minds of all
other people are distinctly separated from each other. Conversely, in
the case of a divorce, the mind's of the married couple must ascend
again, to the place of the universal intellect to undo their ties of
marriage through a bill of divorce. In this case, the document of
divorce spiritually breaks the intellectual binds of the couple,
separating their intellects and souls, which remain segregated after
their minds have returned to earth.
OF MARRIAGE AND DIVORCE CONTRACTS
Rav Noson points out that it is no mere happenstance that on Ya'akov's
(Jacob's) journey to his uncle Laban's house, where he would eventually
marry, and produce twelve righteous sons, laying the foundation of the
Jewish nation, he came upon the place where the Temple was destined to
stand. It was upon the very spot where the Holy of Holies was to be,
that, Ya'akov layed and dedicated the cornerstone of the Temple even
though it would not actually be constructed for another 600 some odd
years. In some ways, the Temple, served a purpose similar to marriage.
The Temple, which linked heaven and earth, would elevate the collective
conscious of every mind to the upper worlds, where the harshness and
severity of this world could then be negated and rectified. This is one
reason that marriage is referred to by the term, keddusl7in
(sanctification), that through sanctity, for which the Temple was the
focal point, all the harshness of this world is negated. Through his
prayer at the Temple site, and by laying the Temple's eventual
cornerstone, Ya'akov was able to draw to himself and spiritually
transport the souls of those who were destined to be his wives and
twelve sons to the place of the heavenly universal intellect. By
accessing the awesome powers of the universal intellect, he neutralized
the harshness and spiritual pollution of this world that was connected
to their souls. Once this was accomplished he was ready to go marry Leah
and Rachel, righteous and virtuous women, who would bear him holy and
righteous offspring -- sons who were fitting to be the very foundation
of the world, i.e. the twelve holy tribes. [Note: The foundation stone
of the Temple consisted of twelve separate stones that had miraculously
merged to form one. (c.f. Genesis 28:11, Rashi) Ya'akov placed those
twelve stones on the site of the future Temple in order to access all
spiritual energies associated with the number twelve, which resonated
with the souls of his future offspring. The fact that the twelve stones
were transformed into one was an indication that Ya'akov had
successfully connected his sons' twelve souls to the universal intellect
where everything is in unity].
OF THE JEWISH NATION:
NEUTRALIZING NEGATIVE SPIRITUAL ESSENCE
Our sages teach us that it is forbidden for a high priest to perform the
Yom Kippur (Day of Atonement) service in the Temple unless he is
married. The high priest's ability to effect atonement for the entire
nation on Yom Kippur was dependent upon his service in the Holy of
Holies, which negated all of the harsh judgments and spiritual energies
of severity caused the people's sins. Since the Holy of Holies was the
spiritual interface of heaven and earth, the high priest's service there
transported the spiritual essence of every Jew to the upper worlds, the
place of the universal intelligence, where no harsh judgments exist. The
people's unification with the universal intelligence would negate all of
the negative spiritual energies caused by their sins. Therefore, the
atonement of Yom Kippur and marriage are strongly related. This is why
the wedding day is considered a personal Yom Kippur for the bride and
groom, that all their sins are forgiven on that day, the day their souls
become merged in the chamber of the universal intelligence. This also
explains why the high priest must be married. An unmarried high priest
would not have any connection or access to the heavenly universal
intelligence and would therefore be unable to elevate the soul of the
entire nation to the place upon which their atonement was dependent.
In addition to the high priest, many other priests officiated in the
Temple service year round, atoning for Israel's sins through sacrificial
offerings. Part of that process involved counteracting the negative
spiritual energies created by sin, and the elimination of the harsh
judgments. Only the priests, male descendants of Aaron the first priest,
were permitted to offer scarifies in the Temple. This was due to the
unique resonance of their souls which singularly enabled them annul the
negative spiritual energies corrupted by sin. No other class of Jew
possessed this unique ability. The essential spiritual quality that
enabled the priest to atone for sin was that he fully resonated with and
radiated peace, as the verse says, "Behold I (Hashem) give him (Phineas
the priest) My covenant of peace. And it (the covenant of peace) shall
be for him and his offspring after him a covenant of a eternal
priesthood..." (Numbers 25:12, 13) The priesthood was bestowed eternally
upon Aaron and his descendants, because of his exceptional conduct in
fostering peace, treating others with love, respect, dignity etc., as
the Talmud teaches, " Hillel says, 'Be among the disciples of Aaron,
loving peace and pursuing peace, loving people, and [through love
stimulating estranged people to repent,] bringing them closer to the
Torah.'" (Talmud: Avoth 1:12)
We mentioned that even the Altar cries when a divorce occurs, the
following story recorded in the Talmud illustrates this point: