Nachal novea; makor chochma -
A flowing river; the source of wisdom (Mish. 18:4)
Everyone has dreams and goals. The inspiration for the goals that we set for ourselves can come from a variety of sources such as parents, teachers, friends, relatives, historical figures etc. Many of our goals are imparted to us when we are young and therefore it is important to inculcate our youth with the proper goals, i.e. the goal of serving Hashem [G-d], as soon as possible. The Vilna Gaon teaches that the values with which a child is instilled become fixed within his personality and cannot be eliminated in later life. If someone desires to change a bad habit, one which was developed in his youth, one must work around the bad habit, through sublimation, but the bad character trait remains, as the verse says, "Train a youth in accordance with his way [his nature or inborn characteristics without trying to break the child's nature. For if you try to break the child's nature, he will not accept your corrections and] even when he grows old, he will not depart from it [his bad habits]." (Proverbs 22:6) For exwnple if someone is born being influenced by the supernal aspect of Mars, he has a inclination for violence and murder, therefore the Vilna Gaon suggests that he become a shochet (ritual slaughterer) or mohel (the performer of the bris - the ritual circumcision), or something along those lines, in order to raise up the negative aspects of his nature in the service of Hashem. If he tries to break his character, he will meet with disaster and eventually might actually come to murder someone. King David was born with this attribute and his nature was to shed blood. He sublimated the negative attributes of his inclination, expressing them only in battle, slaughtering thousands of enemy soldiers in defense of the Jewish people.
Many people try to bring their dreams to fruition. However, when they are confronted with the reality of the commitment, hard work, and effort involved in fulfilling their dream, they soon give up. Of the people who are so determined to falfill their goals that they are willing to work as hard as necessary to reach them, many become disillusioned when confronted with criticism, rejection, failure, setbacks, competition etc. and consequently give up. Only a rare few actually have the drive and fortitude to endure all of the abuse and struggle to fulfill their goals. The obstacles are a weeding-out process, ensuring that only those people who truly desire to reach their goals with all of their hearts will succeed.
The aforementioned concepts also apply to the goal of reaching Hashem. It is the rare few who have the determination to reach high levels in coming close to Hashem as the Talmud describes, "Rebbe Shimon bar Yochai said, 'I have seen the [righteous who are on an] exalted for spiritually elevated level] and they are few."' (Talmud: Sanhedrin 97b)
The holy nation of Israel underwent a similar weeding-out or sifting process in order to eliminate all impurities. The three holy patriarchs perfected their character and service to Hashem, overcoming the most difficult trials, demonstrating their intense love for Him. One such example of the partriarchs' love for and commitment to Hashem is described in the following verse, "Now I [Hashem] know that you are a G-d-fearing man,, [meaning to say that I always knew, but now you, Avraham [Abraham] have demonstrated your great love for Me to the world] because you have not withheld your son, your only one, from Me [you were willing to sacrifice him at My behest]." (Genesis 22:12) The patriarchs instilled this same determination (on a lower level), in their offspring, inspiring their descendants to carry on their legacy of serving Hashem no matter how difficult the trials and tribulations they would encounter. Although due to worldly influences, there have been individuals who have strayed from this path, serving Hashem and doing His will has been the only goal and purpose of the Jewish people since its inception.
The place where the small nucleus of this patriarchal family grew into a populous nation, dedicated to serving Hashem in holiness was Egypt, the center of all that was unholy in the world. The birth of the nation only occurred through bitter struggle and great resistance. The Jews were first invited to Egypt as royal guests, and were eventually enslaved in a hepeless and endless servitude. How could a broken and demoralized slave possibly serve Hashem? Yet despite the crushing servitude, the Jews refused to capitulate and abandon their goal of reaching Hashem. They struggled to do whatever little they could in doing Hashem's will despite the very difficult circumstances. [For example, Rashi tells us that the Jewish foremen gallantly served Hashem by absorbing brutal beatings rather than forcing their fellow Jews to work harder.] Moshe [Moses], at Hashem's command, asked Pharaoh to release the Jews. Pharaoh responded by making the work even harder. It took ten, hard-hitting plagues to force the stubborn Pharaoh to capitulate and release the Jews. Gaining their freedom, however, was not the end of the Jews' troubles. They were hotly pursued by the mighty Egyptian army, trapped at the Red Sea with no avenue of escape, an incident which was a foreshadowing of the many times throughout their almost four thousand year history that the Jews would find themselves in similar circumstances. The Jews have been subject to inquisitions, expulsions, pogroms, blood libels, confiscation of property, holocausts, social discrimination, forced conversions, humiliation et cetera, et cetera. Despite these setbacks, miraculously the Jews have always rebounded and rebuilt themselves from the ashes, renewing their determination to serve Hashem as their ancestors had done in Egypt. For instance, the following true story from the expulsion from Spain exemplifies the Jew's determination to come close to Hashem despite all deterrents:
Rabbi Nachman taught that initially, when an individual decides to try to come close to Hashem, Heaven intentionally prevents and even forces him in an opposite direction, whereby the circumstances of his life will push him even further away from Hashem. The person's natural reaction then is to feel that Hashem doesn't want him to come closer. In truth, however, when circumstances force a person further from Hashem, the ultimate reason is for him to be brought even closer. Therefore, every person who experiences that initial stage of rejection must strengthen himself with unwavering determination not to become demoralized, Heaven forbid. Even when a person sees that he has struggled so very hard for days and even years to come close to Hashem's service, and yet is still very far from Him and hasn't even begun to enter the gates of holiness; [knowing that he still hasn't sanctified himself or perfected his character because] he is still very attached to the material and remains insensitive to spiritual matters, with many doubts [about Hashem; not having learned to fully trust Him or what is written in His Torah], and has impure thoughts; that every time he attempts to serve Hashem, he is distracted [whether the distractions come from external sources or the person's own inclination, and all his struggles and effort] seems to be ignored by Hashem; as if Hashem doesn't care at all, because all of his cries, supplications, pleading, and prayers for help seem to go unheeded and ignored. Even so, Rabbi Nachman exhorts such a person to remain very, very strong, and not pay any attention to the superficial defeats, because Hashem's apparent cold shoulder will ultimately bring that person closer to Him. All the great Tzaddikim [saints] experienced this process [of initial rejection], as attested to by many of them. If it had not been for their own fortitude and determination in ignoring the superficial rejection, they would have remained in their original place and would not have achieved the awesome levels that they had. The main principle, my beloved brothers and sisters, is to be very strong and courageous, to muster all your strength to ignore all of the abuse and rejection you encounter. [Even if it is true,] that you are very far from Hashem [because you have not yet made a strong effort to come close to Him] and it appears [to you, the estranged Jew] that every movement and moment of your life is filled with spiritual flaws, which [you perceive to be disgusting] and vile in Hashem's eyes, you should be aware that [when such a person, truly ensnared by his material desires, finding it almost impossible to escape or remedy the situation] attempts to sever his link with gross materialism and turn to Hashem, every intent and effort towards this is very, very great and precious [in His eyes]. Even if a person is only able to sever his attachment to materialism microscopically, this small accomplishment creates a spiritual light that travels thousands of miles in the upper spiritual worlds. [The fact that it is so difficult to overcome one's inclination in this world, makes even a slight improvement very dear.] This awareness should bring happiness to [even the biggest sinner]. Therefore, [no matter how great one's sins and distance from Hashem] a person should always be happy [because even a slight attempt to come closer to Him is very precious in His eyes]. Despair and depression are very harmful [both physically and spiritually - people sin only when they are in a state of depression]. So the biggest sins of all are despair and depression [for they lead to all other sin] and depression connects one to the forces of evil. (Zohar: Noach p.71) Hashem hates depression [not the depressed person] for Hashem and holiness are associated only with joy. [This is why Rabbi Nachman always emphasized that we must try to be happy at all costs, each person on his own level.]
[Because of the great difficulty involved in traveling the path towards union with Hashem] one must be very stubborn in not allowing himself to be moved from his chosen path, never ceasing to perform good deeds and commandments (mitzvoth) regardless of what happens to him [even if he has fallen into the depths of sin or if his lifestyle only serves to earn ridicule from friends or family]. No matter if every time he intends to do the slightest act for the sake of Hashem he is thrown down [to the lowest level], nevertheless [even from the filthiest of places] he must still do what he can to serve Hashem [such as uttering a short praise of or prayer to Hashem, giving even as little as a penny to charity, yearning and longing to come close to Hashem, smiling at or saying a kind word to someone who needs encouragement etc.] In all cases, a person must protect himself from falling totally away from Hashem [by doing at least some little thing - there is no such thing as all or nothing, for Hashem still loves the biggest sinner and wants to maintain some connection with him, despite his wrongdoing]. Before anyone, even the greatest tzaddik, can be permitted to enter the gates of holiness, he must endure many downfalls and failures.
Be aware that there are people who have been successful in overcoming all the obstacles and difficulties we have mentioned above and just as they reached and were about to enter the gates of holiness, they were assaulted by a barrage of confusing thoughts which made them retreat. [So, if one can fall after winning most of the battle, certainly it can happen to someone who has never even gotten that far]. The closer one gets to the gates of holiness, the more resistance he encounters from the forces of evil, [he may fall prey to mental confusion, doubts about Hashem and His Torah, experience physical or financial problems - anything that will prevent him from entering into the realm of holiness and force him to retreat.]
Therefore, [to counteract the fierce attacks by the forces of evil] one must encourage himself and focus only on his good points. This will fortify and help him to remain happy, despite all that happens. One must not despair! One must be happy always [to the degree he can. At first, one cannot expect that this will come easily. Like any skill, it takes time and practice to develop.] Happiness, regardless of conditions and circumstances, [is the strongest weapon against destruction and the forces of evil]. Even if one has to do foolish things to make himself happy, he should, [avoiding sin, since sin increases depression]. Only through maintaining our joy can we come close to Hashem, as the verse says, "Serve Hashem with joy [for only through joy can one] come before fbm with exultation [which indicates a state of true closeness with Hashem]." (Psalms 100:2) Without happiness, the battle cannot be won. (2 Lekutai MoHaran 48)
Hashem recorded the story of the trapped Jews at the Red Sea to teach us that whether an individual or a nation is confronted with seemingly insurmountable difficulties, one should not despair or interpret it as Hashem's rejection. Part of the purpose for the trouble or darkness is that by absorbing the darkness into his soul, a person builds filters so that he can tolerate the great light of Hashem when he is eventually brought closer to Him. Another reason for an initial rejection from Hashem is to maintain the balance of free choice. If we had instant success in coming close to Hashem, there would be no doubt that coming close to Him is the right thing to do and the value of this closeness would be cheapened. Rabbi Nachman taught that Hashem hides within the darkness itself and can truly be found there if one only looks hard enough, as the Torah relates that, as a result of the terror and darkness of the experience at the Red Sea, "And they [the Jews] believed in Hashem and in Moshe, His servant." (Exodus 14:31) It was the terrifying darkness that helped the Jews enter the gates of holiness and come close to Hashem. Rabbi Nachman taught that when a person's heart is firm, there is no place in the world where he cannot serve Hashem. For when a person's heart is strong, all places in the world belong to him. (Lekutai Etzoth: Me'nee'oth 10)
Rabbi Nachman taught that even if one has, as a result of his many sins, fallen to the depth of hell itself, one must still not despair or become depressed. For any person can easily repent and reach out to Hashem, even from the deepest pit of hell, as King David wrote, "If I [King David] should make my bed in hell [through my sins, I will not become depressed or worry] for behold, You [Hashem] are there [and are still close to me - I can easily reach out to You]." (Psalms 139:8) Thus we can see that Hashem has great love, compassion, and understanding for each one of us. He desires and loves even those who have fallen far away and makes Himself accessible to everyone in every place.
Looking rather downcast, Reb Yeedl approached the holy tzaddik,
Rav Yechiel Michel of Zlotshov, a student of the holy Ba'al Shem Tov,
asking help in repentance for having violated the holy Shabbos
(Sabbath) the previous week. When Rav Michel heard what Yeedl had
done, his eyes widened in shock, "How could you do such a thing!?
This is a serious sin!" Rav Michel shook his head, "Atoning for it
will be very difficult and painful. In the Winter, you must go lie in
the snow and take baths in ice-cold water. This will arouse vou to
thoughts of true repentance."
When Yeedl heard what he had to undergo to achieve full atonement, he
thought, "How can such a weak and frail person as myself survive such
a penance?" He returned home and tried his best to do as Rav Michel
had instructed him, but he did not have the stamina to continue.
"What shall I do now?" he wondered sadly. In his heart, he yearned to
make up for his sin, but he just could not do as Rav Michel had
ordered. Then, he heard that the famous Ba'al Shem Tov was staying in
a town nearby, so Yeedl decided to travel to the Ba'al Shem Tov and
see if he could help.
After hearing about Yeedl's sin, the Ba'al Shem Tov told him that he
should buy candles and bring them to shul on Friday night. Reb Yeedl
stood paralyzed with shock at how easy the atonement procedure would
be. The Ba'al Shem Tov asked him why he was so surprised and Yeedl
explained the procedure that had been prescribed bv Rav Michel. The
Ba'al Shem assured Yeedl that the candles would be enough.
Reb Yeedl was setting up his candles in shul late Fridav afternoon
when sudderly, a dog ran into the shul, seized the candles and crushed
them between his teeth. Yeedl went and told the Ba'al Shem Tov what
had happened. "It seems that Rav Michel is displeased with my
interference. Bring more candles and I promise you that it won't ever
happen again," said the holy Ba'al Shem. "Also, please go tell Rav
Michel that I would Re to have him as my guest this Shabbos."
When Rav Michel heard of the Ba'al Shem Tov's invitation, he
immediately harnessed his horse to the wagon and climbed aboard. He
figured that even though Shabbos was approaching, the Ba'al
Shem Tov was staying in Chvostov, a town only a short distance away
and it would not take long to arrive. But, things did not go well for
Rav Michel. He got lost several times. The sun had already set,
Shabbos had already begun and he was still stuck in the forest!
Rav Michel got out of the wagon and walked the rest of the way,
arriving long after darkness had fallen. Totally distraught, he found
the Ba'al Shem's lodging and walked in as the holy Master was reciting
the kiddush (blessing over wine welcoming in and sanctifying
the Shabbos).
"You feel pretty badly, don't you?" asked the Ba'al Shem Tov softly.
"Now you know how Reb Yeedl felt after desecrating Shabbos. You, who
until now had never sinned in his entire life, never understood how
terrible a good person feels after sinning, even if he repents. It is
unnecessary to undergo harsh penances to repent. All that is really
needed is a sincere and broken heart."
The following Fridav night, Reb Yeedl lit his Shabbos candles with a
full and joyous heart and they remained burning, just as the Ba'al
Shem Tov had promised." (Chassidic Stories)
We mentioned that, in order to come
close to Hashem, one must first
endure rejection and difficulties.
Only through persistence can a
person merit closeness to Him. The
following story illustrates this point: